Feeling kinda down...

Just realised that I haven't updated this in a while. A lot has happened since the last post.

Let's start from the beginning shall we? New Year's was great. Me and Gary (the drummer) were on a mission pretty much the whole night. We started off by not going to a certain party because I forgot to check on the map how to get there. Then we went to Melville where we saw Camilla (a girl I've slept with once but we're friends now). We got very stoned with my brother right outside of TranceSky while the cops were driving past. There were so many people in the road that if they had smelt it they wouldn't have been able to figure out who was smoking it anyway. Then we went to some house party after which we went to Emmarentia dam and then back to Camilla's house after which I dropped Gary off home and went to work.

I wrote an Accounting sup. I have no idea how it went yet, will have to find out later. Can't check it now because I keep getting logged out for some stupid reason.

I've decided to move out of home. On the surface my parents took it pretty well but I think they're taking it quite hard. Their relationship is basically on the rocks although it might still get better. I think that in the long run it's a lost cause. I don't know exactly when I'll be moving out yet as I've still to find a place.

My grandmother is dying of cancer, probably this week. They won't administer euthanasia yet so she's stopped eating (for real). My dad will probably go over there within the next five days.

Nela (a girl I really liked, and thought was 'girlfriend material') doesn't quite see things the same way so I'm pretty bummed about that. Lately I've been missing the closeness one has with a girlfriend. Thinking back, even me and Julia were pretty close, even though we knew that the relationship would, ultimately, go nowhere. Sex is not the problem. I could (with a certain rate of success) have sex when I want, but that is not really what I'm after.

I don't really connect with my parents anymore. Not with my mom, because over the last couple of years, she's kinda been an unreasonable drunk, and not my dad because he has a lot on his plate without my problems on top of his. I suppose I just feel lonely and everyone goes through this, but man does it suck.

My mom also found out about mine and my brother's weed habits. Mine is much less severe than my brother's, plus I'm older so once the initial shock wore off she's not really that bummed about me. She just seems disappointed that I never told her that Axel smokes weed. I never saw any reason to. I would have told my dad, but by the time that I discovered the severity of his habit, he already knew.

Parkour is going well, I've been training more regularly and also been supplementing it with jogging. As a result, my smoking is decreasing.

My sleeping habit has once again been shot to shit. Every second night is pretty much how it goes nowadays.

My car broke down again. This time it is something with the gearbox. This is really bad because I'll need the car when I move out, but I guess I'm going to have to buy a bike so that I can get to and from varsity and work. It's not great, but it will be a way to get around and it will save petrol (which is about R600 a month). I will be paying for my own place so it's important that I keep costs down.

That's pretty much it for now. I would write more but it would probably get boring and I'm not really in the mood.